A little humor for gun owners

[steel609]

http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff184/steel609/GunOwners.jpg

[McQ68]

Steel-Reading old posts. Yes, but the line about the spoons is actually true-it really isn't her fault-really.:rolleyes: But it doesn't mention the part about the ugly stick though:eek: Did you hear the one when she had Tom Selleck on her show and she tried to attack him about his(insert horror)gun ownership and he actually used them to kill poor defenseless animals? Irony-this extreme, left wing, anti gun liberal had the audacity to apply for carry permits for her body guards, because she has "special" rights that normal citizens shouldn't be allowed to have? And Steel-that line about the 2nd mouse still cracks me up:D

[steel609]

Yes, but the line about the spoons is actually true-it really isn't her fault-really.:rolleyes: But it doesn't mention the part about the ugly stick though:eek:

LOL! or it's Mcdonalds fault for offering "Super Size" meals.

Did you hear the one when she had Tom Selleck on her show and she tried to attack him about his(insert horror)gun ownership and he actually used them to kill poor defenseless animals? Irony-this extreme, left wing, anti gun liberal had the audacity to apply for carry permits for her body guards, because she has "special" rights that normal citizens shouldn't be allowed to have?

If anyone hears her speak, and I am sorry for their ears if they do, they will see quickly that she's an argumentative, hypocritical, hates the world, witch.
(and those were the nicest things I could think of to say)

And Steel-that line about the 2nd mouse still cracks me up:D
I like this one too, I keep telling my son, patience grasshopper. He still doesn't get it. He will someday, hopefully. :confused:

[NONEYA]

That was good.

[steel609]

Three old rifle shooters are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, its Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." " :beercheer:

[McQ68]

Three old rifle shooters are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second one says, "No, its Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer." " :beercheer:
Oh no, hide the pets and small children, Steels going to start telling jokes.:eek: Or(older one)-We, in Ireland, can't figure out why you in the US are even bothering to hold an election. On one side, you have a "person" who is a lawyer, married to another lawyer, running against a lawyer who is married to a "person" who is a lawyer. On the other side, you have a war hero, married to a good looking, rich woman, who owns a beer distributorship. What's so difficult about choosing sides?

[steel609]

Or(older one)-We, in Ireland, can't figure out why you in the US are even bothering to hold an election. On one side, you have a "person" who is a lawyer, married to another lawyer, running against a lawyer who is married to a "person" who is a lawyer. On the other side, you have a war hero, married to a good looking, rich woman, who owns a beer distributorship. What's so difficult about choosing sides?

Seems pretty clear cut to me!

Oh no, hide the pets and small children, Steels going to start telling jokes.:eek:

Don't worry, your children are safe. ;)

[McQ68]

Seems pretty clear cut to me!
Don't worry, your children are safe. ;)
Soooo, I only have to worry about the pets?:rolleyes:
You aren't going to start telling your goat jokes are you?:eek:

[steel609]

Soooo, I only have to worry about the pets?:rolleyes:
You aren't going to start telling your goat jokes are you?:eek:

Nah, I'll leave the goats alone.

[steel609]

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed. "You lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me." "But grandpa, I really don't like guns. Howzabout you leava me your Rolex watch instead." "Shuddup an lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business, you gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple a bambinos. Somma day you gonna coma home and maybe find you wife inna bed with another man. Whadda you gonna do then......pointa to you watch and a say, Times Up?" :rolleyes: :D

[McQ68]

Steel-seriously man- I did not know you spoke Italian-learn something new everyday.:rolleyes:

[steel609]

Steel-seriously man- I did not know you spoke Italian-learn something new everyday.:rolleyes:


Yep, learned all I know from reading the back of a Chef Boyardee can. ;)

Beats the daylights out of that there fancy book learning they tried to make me do in college. :D

[McQ68]

Steel graduated from the school of hard knocks-#1 in his class. Another one, just for him. Exercise for people over 40 or close to it. Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5 lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10 lb potato sacks. Then try 50 lb sacks and eventually try to get where you can lift a 100 lb potato sack in each hand and hold for more than a minute. After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.:rolleyes:

[steel609]

Mmmmmmm........potatoes.

[McQ68]

Mmmmmmm........potatoes.
Steel always thinking about eating. PM me, I'll explain it to you.:eatdrink:

[McQ68]

It was Steel's turn, but I'll go ahead while he's still thinking and I'll try to keep it politically correct(PC). There was a bl*nde on an airplane sitting in coach. There was an empty seat up in 1st class, so she went and sat in it. The stewardess approached her and told her she would have to move back to her seat in coach because the 1st class seats were more expensive and she hadn't paid for a 1st class seat. The bl*nde replied, "I'm bl*nde, beautiful and I'm flying to Toronto Canada and I'm not changing seats." The stewardess told the co-pilot what was going on, so he went and tried to get the bl*nde to move back to her original seat. She replied "I'm bl*nde, beautiful, and I'm flying to Toronto Canada and I'm staying right where I am." The co-pilot then told the captain and he went and spoke to the bl*nde for a few minutes. The bl*nde immediately got up and returned to her original seat.When the co-pilot and stewardess saw this, they were amazed and asked the captain what he had said to make her move back to her original seat. The captain said he had spoken bl*nde to her, he told her that the 1st class seats weren't going to Toronto, so she moved back.:rolleyes:

[steel609]

That's the best line he could come up with when talking to a beautiful blonde????

And why is your blonde - bl*nde???

[McQ68]

And why is your blonde - bl*nde???

It was Steel's turn, but I'll go ahead while he's still thinking and I'll try to keep it politically correct(PC). :rolleyes:

I knew I was going to have to explain it to Steel:rolleyes: I said, I was going to keep it PC, that's why when I was telling a blonde joke, I substituted the word bl*nde for blonde, that way I wouldn't get into trouble about telling blonde jokes. But, now you let the cat out of the bag.:D

[McQ68]

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doc struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President. The old rancer said "Well you know, Obama is a "post turtle." Not being familiar with the term, the doc asked him what a "post turtle" was. The old rancher said "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a "post turtle." Seeing the doc's puzzled look, he explained, "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb idiot put him up there in the 1st place."

[McQ68]

Just heard this recently from a pilot friend. Earlier in the Presidential campaign, Hillary, Obama and McCain were flying to a debate. Obama looks at Hillary and says, "You know I could throw a $1000 bill out the window right now(an original stupid thought) and make somebody happy. Hillary shrugged her shoulder and said, "I could throw 10 $100 bills out the window and make ten people very happy." McCain, not to be outdone says, "I could throw 100 $10 bills out the window and make 100 people very happy. Overhearing them, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his copilot, "Such big shots back there. I could throw all 3 of them out the window and make 156 million people very happy." I'm voting for the pilot.

[steel609]

Those were both very funny, and oh so true!

I didn't know you were a comedian McQ!